Your Call's Important To Us

I got my iPad, smart phone and massive room-sizeTV,
With a Blu-Ray DVD.
I’ve got an XBOX, PS/4 and a Wii.
I’m a poster boy for technology!

I’m on Instagram and Facebook and I’m LinkedIn.
Everybody's checking out where I'm checking in.
You can follow my tweets to see where I’ve been,
And we’ll hook up on Second Life for some virtual sin.

Now, you might think it’s a perfect life:
Every modern convenience. No strife.
But keeping it all running’s running me to the bone,
And God help me when I call Tech Support on the phone!
You know how it goes:

Press “1” to stay on hold for the rest of your life.
“2” to be cut off.
“3” to leave a message we'll respond to,
The day that Hell cools off.
Your call will be dropped in the order received,
But there’s no need to fuss.
Because, we want you to know,
YOUR CALL'S IMPORTANT TO US!

Well, I finally say “Hi” to some guy in Mumbai.
He says his name is “Jim.” 
He has me try twenty things I tried before.
I start to think of twenty things to try on him.

Jimmy wastes about an hour and a half of my time,
Then delivers the worst news of all:
According to the policy, without a warranty,
I have to pay for the call!

Did Mozart need a laptop? I don’t think so!
Did Christopher Columbus use GPS?
When Jesus hit the street, did he tweet?
So when the network's down, how come my life is such a mess?

Here I am; story’s old.
On the phone; stuck on hold.
And they’re playing my song. 

Press “1” to stay on hold for the rest of your life.
“2” to be cut off.
“3” to leave a message we'll respond to,
The day that Hell cools off.
Your call will be dropped in the order received,
But there’s no need to fuss.
Because, we want you to know,
YOUR CALL'S IMPORTANT TO US!

Press “1” to stay on hold for the rest of your life.
“2” to be cut off.
“3” to leave a message we'll respond to,
The day that Hell cools off.
Your call will be dropped in the order received,
But there’s no need to fuss.
Because,

We value your business.
Our goal is excellent service.
There may be ninety calls ahead of you in our queue,
But at the risk of repeating ourselves,
YOUR CALL'S IMPORTANT TO US!

"Your call's important to us" Copyright 2010 Paul James Frantz (ASCAP)